It was very therapeutic in a way to write out, or breakdown my emotions from yesterday because I was able to identify my pride and how debilitating it is for me. I know no one who is free from pride, but I don't remember it being so real and prevalent in my life as it has been the last 2.5 years. I've expressed and illustrated it several times; it's like a brick wall that is surrounding my heart. And sometimes circumstances arise and I feel a brick fall off, and it's a reason to rejoice! Other times I add more brick and mortar strengthening that blasted wall. ugh-I want it gone.
Last night, I recognized two things I needed to do immediately if I wanted to feel better. My misery far outweighed the pain of change, so I determined to do them. 1) Apologize to my husband for my reactive and rude response to his thoughtful question. 2) pray.
I offered an apology, a simple sorry at best. I said a prayer, muffled words with no true feeling. But I did it. And, I printed out more Dailies sheets because I rewrite them every Sunday. I decided I needed to get back to some basics, and basics only since that's all I have energy for.
Then I went to bed.
And today has been much better. I've decided to start working on Step 3. I think it's time.
Good for you!!! Yay! I love this :) Determination is such a hard thing to grasp and hold onto in my opinion. But it definitely sounds like you have a hold of it and I'm proud of you!!! One step forward in the right direction. I'm cheering you on in those steps too. :)
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