About Masturbation

Over the past several years I've struggled with the difference in opinion between the church and the world on masturbation. It seemed as though within the church the only advice on the topic was "Don't  do it." Conversely, it is easy to find and even hear coworkers and friends not of our faith to talk about it like its not big deal; it's necessary and normal, it flushes the system of old sperm (ok that doesn't relate to me but still it's a valid argument on the topic).

 I think this quote, taken from this source sums up rather nicely what's so dangerous about masturbation--it's the explanation I wished I had had, more than just the "Don't do it."

 This is where neurochemistry comes in, too. Sexual climax involves incredibly powerful chemical events that can even be analogized to the effect of powerful drugs. Both make the brain perceive incredible pleasure. Because of neuroplasticity (the brain’s tendency to rewire itself so that a stimulus and its response are closely associated with each other), sexual stimulus will be associated with its incredible neurochemical reward. Some of the chemicals that are released during sex are the same as those released after a woman gives birth. And just as these chemicals help a mother to bond with a newborn child, they also help sexual partners to feel bonded to one another.

   But when sexual stimulus comes in the form of masturbation, completely devoid of the sharing and vulnerability and complementarity of marriage, then the brain can become wired so that it is primarily masturbation that produces the reward, and an individual can become increasingly unable to sexually respond to a spouse. Masturbation and intercourse are simply different. One who masturbates frequently has a very direct knowledge of what actions bring pleasure most effectively. It can be difficult or impossible for a spouse to reproduce the pleasure that a masturbator has learned how to produce on his or her own. Thus, sexuality, if not expressed in the context of a loving and devoted relationship, turns inward and becomes a focus on self. It is spiritually dangerous to use 
sexuality for self when God intends for it to be used to help us overcome our love of self.