Sometimes I want to curl up in a ball, so no one can see me because I'm so small.
But really I want to be seen, for someone to walk with me. It's not realistic for someone to hold my hand every step of the way, but I really wish someone could. Who literally could be next to me. That I wouldn't feel pangs of embarassment when I show myself.
At this moment, I literally don't believe I can do it. Even with such an inspirational story I heard from my bishop tonight I left wanting a guide. I feel very alone. In my marriage. In my ward. In Washington.
I know how this is. But in all honesty, you really can pray and talk to God as much as you want. Do you have a sponsor or a large support group?? I find that no ONE person can answer all my calls but I can always find at least one person to connect with.
ReplyDeleteAddiction has created so much isolation in us. It is rough. Find some fellow female addicts to connect with and then the embarassment isn't as tough.
You can do this. Even when you don't think you can. God trusts in you that you can make it. :) I am here for you as much as possible. All the way in Utah! lol.
ReplyDeleteI'll say it again. Ask me for my number, text me all you want. I know there are others here who will give you their number. You aren't alone. You have been found. You know it's not an accident you happened on my blog. God led you there and now you have a family of recoverettes... (gag lol)... I'd love to be your text buddy! But you gotta ask!
ReplyDelete"recoverettes" Sidreis??? lol :)
ReplyDeleteThere really are so many of us and we all need to reach out (constantly it seems) to one another for support, reassurance, validation, courage and just love! I'm here too :)