Dear Me,
I see how you are feeling today. Perhaps it would be best to withdraw yourself from your family for a while. Yes, they should be the ones you are closest to, but for now you may be better without them. You hurt them too much. Everything you do will only cut them more, so it's better to isolate so you can't do that anymore. Yes, the isolation will hurt them a little bit, but it will hurt much more if you stay.
Better yet, if you get away now you won't have to feel guilty for flirting just a little. You can date again. You can have a fresh-start. You can be honest right from the beginning, and your communication will be perfect, and you will live happily ever after.
Sincerely, the Addict Me
Dear Addict Me,
I think I'm wise enough now to admit I wouldn't be doing that in the name of my recovery. It would just be a big bite of indulgence into my addiction. And the selfishness of such an act directly affects my son. And when I think about that, I feel immensely sad and heart-broken.
In fact, right now as I'm typing this I'm listening to Elder Oaks recent talk Protect the Children. He teaches that if I look upon marriage as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure...and severed at the first difficulty...is an evil meriting severe condemnation, especially where children are made to suffer. My son would suffer, and I don't want to do that to him.
You, Addict Me, promise to please without hurting anyone. It's so convincing most of the time. But that argument won't work anymore. I will continue to fight it. I have the Lord, friends, and leaders on my side who know and have experience. I will choose to take advice from them.
Sincerely, the Bigger Me
I grinned through the entire first one:-) I was thinking "yaaaaa.... that's SUCH addict thinking"... Hah. Love it!
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't responded to your replies on my blog yet. Ive had a very busy last couple of weeks (lame excuse).
ReplyDeleteIt is so uncanny how us addicts think and feel the same things. I have felt those feelings so many times. Like I would be doing some noble act for my family by leaving them. Its pure horse manure. Its just my addict self trying to find an easier path to get what it wants. Thanks so much for this post. I wish you all the best in your journey.
love this! This is a great post! I love the idea of writing a letter to yourself from your addict. I think I'm going to steal that idea and use it on my own blog, if that's okay. I would credit you, of course! I LOVE that! What insight it can give!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments on my blog! Always nice to find yet someone else I connect with. :)