I hate my marriage.
I hate many aspects of myself.
Even my son hates me. He has said so, way too many times in the last week... but lucky for me he generally forgets that he hates me fairly quickly. Parenting has been SO FRUSTRATING these past couple of weeks. I'm disgusted with how much I've resorted to yelling.
And in my marriage, there's no yelling. Just silence. Withdrawal.
And what does this have to do with addiction. Everything and nothing.
I am so sorry to hear that your marriage and parenting are so difficult right now. Take lots of deep breaths before the yelling and try to stay in the moment and ride the wave of emotion. Turn to God and He will help you. You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteYeah Seattle hang in there. Teenage boys are tough cases - I told my mom and dad I hated them on multiple occasions as well. It's just something all teenage boys (and probably girls) do. Sometimes it seems like everything is going wrong and builds up. You've probably done this, but something my counselor asked me to do was divide a paper in 4 squares labeled "My problem" "Not my problem" "In my control" and "not in my control" and then list all the stuff going on underneath one of those categories. It really helped me focus on what I could do and let go of the other things. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteyeah...except he's five. :-)
DeleteMan. Sorry to hear that things are so rough right now. I'm praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteMan I'm right there with ya right now... Silence and withdrawal in the marriage... Keep on truckin...
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, I once wrote in my journal that I hated my parents and wished they would die. :) Then I scribbled it out(you can still read it) and wrote, Sorry, Heavenly Father.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, Seattle! You can do this. I work with mentally disabled people and it's the same thing, they hate you at least once a day. But there are moments that make it worth it.
Oh my heavens, Love that journal entry. I have similar things too where I scratched stuff out about my sister.... maybe I'll end up doing the same thing here. Really.
DeletePretty soon this blog entry will be scratched out and I think I'll even add a "Sorry Heavenly Father." Lol.