Wanna know a phrase that I just hate? That slips are meant to be part of recovery. Or that slips are an important part of recovery. Or that no one goes through recovery without a slip.
I believe that most of the time, phrases similar to this are spoken after a slip in an effort to minimize shame or help the addict "feel better."
Okay, okay, it may be true that there hasn't been one single person who has started recovery and never had a slip, but telling me that slips are part of the process is JUST WHAT THE ADDICT WANTS TO HEAR!
When I hear that, I feel like I've been given permission to toy with my triggers; to play with them a little bit because I'm gonna slip eventually, right?
But the reality is: slipping is not part of my plan. It may happen, but I'm not going to justify it as necessary to my recovery. I know now that I can't give myself grace when I slip. It's Jesus Christ who offers me grace. What He asks in return is a commitment of my whole life, mind and soul and to be changed through Him.
So I guess in a one sentence summation: Slipping is not an essential part of the process. Getting up and asking for God's Grace, is.
I think a bit of it depends on how people define "in recovery." I have tried stopping from the very beginning, but I've always slipped back into it because I wasn't really in recovery. But since I really committed and fully confessed over two months ago I haven't slipped once (not the longest, I know, but I feel genuinely past white-knuckling and into a sustainable recovery). I completely agree with your post--in my opinion, if there's anything that leaves the door open for yourself to justify relapse, that's a sign you probably aren't really in recovery.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it's the same as Lot's wife turning back. If you constantly think in your head that it's okay to turn back while you're trying to get away from it, there is no good that can come from that. Let's just be grateful that God doesn't turn us into a pillar of salt, too :)
ReplyDeleteI agree in some ways. Just the other day I was facing a temptation and I thought "But I can always repent." NOT the point of repentance. :) But having slipped myself, those words can be comforting because, at least for me, I was convinced (thanks to Satan) that my slipping meant I had failed in recovery and that I had to give up and just go back. I thank God that I went forward, with His help. Slipping was never part of my plan, but I have used each time as a learning experience. As you said, Seattle, the mindset is key. You' re great!
ReplyDeleteSo I actually really like this. When people told me I was sure to slip, I took it as them not having faith in me. Either way, I think it's a stupid thing to say. Along the same vain as being grateful for your addiction. I'm totally with you. Slipping isn't a part of recovery so much as getting up and moving forward is. I sometimes wonder if the addict world offers more excuses than we already offer ourselves, you know? "it's just a slip" can only go so far. On the other hand, while you can't offer yourself grace, you also can't deny yourself grace. Not really. And yet, don't we, as addicts, sometimes try to do that, too?
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to find that balance. That balance of self acceptance & self forgiveness, and total accountability. I really struggle with that balance EVERY time I slip. I think I'm getting closer to finding the right balance though.
Keep truckin. Love you!