Monday, September 9, 2013

apparently, I roll my eyes at promptings too much

Whenever I try to do some formal blog post I always hate what I end up with so I scratch it.

What's a formal blog post anyway? To me, it's when I am trying to regurgitate something somewhat educational in nature--a topic that I like, and that has helped me. But I just deleted the post and decided to do an impulse post instead. Probably a post with no silver lining--because I am a cynic by nature--at least I think so.

God and I have heart to hearts every once in a while. Sometimes it seems like my prayers actually make it--rather, that my end receiver is turned up enough so I hear the response. And one day I recognized God asking me to stop rolling my eyes.

Huh?

I can't tell you how many times I have received what I consider simple promptings to do simple things and I literally let out a big sigh, an annoyed eye roll but then usually grudgingly go and complete the task. I'm talking simple things here, people! Like think of a prompting to go put on your socks.... Simple.

I think God was getting sick of me. In those moments I am truly reverting to acting like a 13-year-old who asks for everything, but wants to do nothing to earn it.

But what am I getting at here anyway? God somehow managed to teach me/remind me/chastise me. He reminded me that I am the one praying for promptings in the first place! And that I pray so desperately to have the Spirit in my life! And so here God blesses me to hear the whisperings of the spirit, and what do I do? Roll my eyes! How appreciative of me. Line upon line--He reminds me. These are teaching moments. How am I to be trusted with the big things, if I won't do the little things? Line upon line--he teaches me. Let's begin to understand how the Spirit speaks to me. It's a learned language, and I'll better understand it later if I tune into it now.

I love how God taught that to me and I tried to stay true to Him very consciously for days following. I don't remember how much later it was, but at some point I had obviously forgotten that lesson because He had to remind me again:

I don't remember the exact circumstance, but I just remember pulling my car into my garage one night after grudgingly reacting to a prompting and His spirit saying to mine, "Remember that time we talked about cheerfully following promptings? Lets work a little harder on that again, okay?"

Isn't that a loving expression? I know--you aren't reading it in the same tone that I heard it, but I sure appreciated it and still regularly think about it.

Well....this sure wasn't the direction I intended this on going. I guess thats kind of what impulse posting means. Hope you enjoyed the read. I guess Im not *that* cynical afterall.

2 comments:

  1. I love how the promptings we get are so individualized so that we can recognize they are for US. I think I do the same thing though - plead to know something and then once I hear an answer, I physically or internally roll my eyes that I actually have to DO something. Thank you for this. I need to look inside myself on this one.

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  2. Ha ha. I do this too! Well, I did. I don't do it anymore, I think. Most of the time I'm like... did I actually have a prompting?
    Thanks for sharing this, though. It reminds me I need to be grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who communicates with me. Because He loves me (and you).

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