For me, I define it as recognizing my behavior as an addictive pattern. Then I begin gathering tools to specifically aid me in breaking those patterns, overall changing my behaviors.
For me, recognition truly was the first step--honestly admitting my behavior was out of control and that as much as I wanted to change, I was met with an equally powerful subconscious that didn't want to change. Then from there, I figuratively yet very literally began loading my toolbelt with :
Contacts--people I could trust to talk openly about this topic
Therapist specific to addiction
Arp manual
Keeping Dailies
Reading literature (Brene brown, and he restoreth my soul).
K9 on my phone
Learning about triggers/boundaries/shame
Next question: Am I on the right path? What helps you recognize you're truly doing it the right way this time? How might you help someone else who finds them self in the same predicament as you?
great questions indeed! i hope you get more comments. Recovery vs sobriety. I'm sure i've posted on that. Sobriety= not acting out (no P or MB) Recovery= like you said, changing our behavior all together...i believe the scriptures say 'change of heart.'
ReplyDeleteMy old sponsor said if you aren't in recovery you feel restless, irritable, and discontent. Recovery brings the opposite. regardless of the triggers, the temptations, etc. Recovery brings more contentment and peace. If i don't feel that way, there is something up. And there is something that I can bring to light and surrender.
We are powerless over lust. And also...we are powerless over OURSELVES. That's why given ourselves to a program of recovery and to God, releases us from 'the bondage of self' (third step prayer)
For me, recovery means all of the above, plus snuggling into and safely remaining comfortable in the robes of my Savior. When I think of the word "recovery," I take it literally. I'm in the process of being recovered. Only my Savior can recover me. I feel the following scripture sums it up pretty good:
ReplyDeleteEzekiel 34:11-12,16
"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"
That is recovery to me...