I'm walking up to the theater with friends bringing along some M&M's and they have a sign:
I refuse to give up my chocolate so I miss out on a fun night with friends.
I go to the swimming pool. They have a sign:
I refuse to shower so I don't get to go in.
I am standing outside of Disneyland. They have a sign:
I refuse to put on my shoes.
REALLY? It's Disneyland!!! Why won't you just put on your shoes?! (I'm talking to myself here).
Sometimes the things I do especially in this addiction are about as blatantly stupid as refusing to adhere to a simple sign. Logically, it makes sense to "put on my shoes" so I can enter Disneyland's doors, right? But I keep refusing to give up something small & insignificant and therefore miss out on something potentially greater! HOW DO I GIVE IT UP? How come once I give it up, it can't just be taken forever?
HAHA. great analogies. Here is what my addict mind would do... NO FOOD OR DRINK! (I hide the M%Ms in my pocket and enjoy the movie AND my chocolate), MUST SHOWER BEFORE SWIMMING (I throw some water in my hair and tell myself that I 'showered') NO SHOES? NO ENTRANCE! (it's Disneyland and its crowded...I get past the main gate and run! No one will see me barefoot right??)
ReplyDeleteMaybe I took this the wrong way, but I saw your actions as holding true. Friends are going out...but you're at a recovery meeting. Sign says shower before entering or the movie has 'only one bad scene'...you are honest with yourself and deny yourself some 'fun' because you know what you can or cannot handle.
It's the little things in terms of honesty and humility that are recovery. IMO. :)
Ha! Love this. And you're so, so right on the addict mind justifications. I don't try to adhere to the rules so much as mesh what I want to what they want. Comprimise, right? But in reality I know that I am being dishonest, and then as a result I'm just breaking a different commandment altogether. And really, when I wrote this, I was thinking about the bigger picture--the eternities where God is in charge, and how really I can't get anything past him (not even chocolate). So, it's come down to choosing what I'd rather have: Entrance into a fun place or hanging onto the thing that's holding me back?
DeleteI love your other thoughts, too. Clearly I left this up for personal interpretation. Metaphors are meant to work that way, I guess.